Guns and Pianos

This morning, Sabrina found a gun for an Xbox game. She, being a baby, likes anything grownups play with, such as Xbox controllers, Xbox guns, Xbox steering wheels, and the like. (I'm trying to brainwash her into liking brooms and washcloths, but so far have mostly succeeded in makeup brushes. At least she's well rounded.)So, she picks up this toy gun and starts making shooting sounds and aiming it at stuff. This is not my fault. I got her a doll for Christmas.

On to the piano part (nice segue, eh?). I am the Primary pianist, and I can't play "I'm trying to be like Jesus." So, I though, since I've embarrassed myself several times and this is a popular song, maybe I should learn to play it. Unfortunately, I had apparently forgotten everything I ever knew about practicing. Then I got the metronome for Christmas (thanks, Victoria!). So, I started playing it really slow (60/eighth when it should be 104/eighth) and gradually moved up. Voila, I am to 95/eighth right now. Lucretia would be so proud. (That's my piano teacher. She would be shocked and appalled at my current lack of skill.)

Phew! I made it!

You know those days, where the vacuum not picking up pine needles or missing a cup to put into the dishwasher and not noticing until the dishwasher is on "rinse" will send you into a storm of weeping? I just finished about two weeks of such fragility, although, let it be noted, I only broke forth into the aforesaid weeping storm ONCE. I really think I need to simplify, simplify, simplify my Christmas season!

Now that it's over, I can look back on it with a mug of mint hot chocolate and reflect. Here are some of my favorites.

*The nativity scene that Karen orchestrated. As a baby, Sabrina was not a shepherd or wise man or even a sheep. Sheep stay put. No, Sabrina was the stable cat, who went where she pleased and spent most of the "and it came to pass in these days" in Joseph's (Spencer's) lap. Just like a cat.

*Finding last-minute presents with Mom. Everyone goes shopping for presents on Christmas Eve afternoon, right?

*Finding presents "Santa" hid on Christmas morning. I really, really could not figure out the clue "What's the number?" Two people (Emily and Mom? I don't remember) immediately said, "Oh, the phone book." It was early, all right?

*Eating Dad's Honeybaked Ham for lunch at 2 pm on Christmas Day because we hadn't gotten lunch due to the vagaries of the custody situation.

*Listening to The Christ Child, the best Christmas book in the world, on Christmas Eve.

I hope your Christmas was full of joy, happiness, and the eggnog of your choice. Merry Christmas!

The Christmas Season

I was looking over my calendar, and I realized CHRISTMAS IS NEXT WEEK PEOPLE! GET A MOVE ON! I have STUFF to do almost every day for the next two weeks. I'm exhausted just looking at my schedule, even though I want to do it all. I have book group, family temple, family bingo, ward Christmas party, babysitting, and I don't know what all. This is why we have a calendar.

I'm trying to squeeze in some time to work on my quiet book that I started about eight months ago. I had almost all the pictures drawn and all the supplies, but hadn't started putting it together. Now I have. It will not be the most well put together quiet book ever, but, as Han Solo says, "Hey, it's me." I'm sure my next project will be much better, especially if Breklyn helps me. I'll have to post pictures soon, but Zane has stolen my camera temporarily.

Oh, and for all my Jewish (or other Tribe of Israel) readers, Happy Hanukkah!

Another first

I remember those fond days of Sabrina's lovely firsts: First time rolling over, pulling herself up, step, tooth, word...

Now we have another first. Sabrina wanted a bath this morning (can you see where this is going yet? Just wait!) So, as per usual, I bathed her and then read a book while she played. I figure I'll hear her if she falls into the water and tries to drown, given that I'm 22 inches away from her. I casually glanced up at the end of a paragraph to see POOP! Floating in the water! Her first poop in the bath!

Well, I got her out of that tub right quick.

As I was cleaning the bathtub a little later (I scooped out the poop with a washcloth. Good thing it's both laundry day and clean the bathroom day, so I don't feel I'm doing extra work), I was overwhelmed with a desire to call it dookey. I'm not a real euphemisms girl, but I kept thinking stuff like, "Sabrina did a dookey in the tub. I'm cleaning up dookey. Dookey dookey dookey." I have no idea what my brain was thinking.

Eating Out

Last Monday, Zane and I went out to eat with Sabrina. I should put this in her baby book under "firsts:" The first time I ordered her food off the menu! We got a pizza. It lasted her three meals, but she ate all of it!

The best part of the meal, though, was when Sabrina tried a green chili from our nachos. I TOLD her she wouldn't like it, but she ate it anyway. Well, it was more like she took a chew on it. Then she spit it out, rubbed her tongue, and panted to rid herself of any stray molecules that did not survive the spitting and scrubbing. Zane and I were just dying, and honestly, she was pretty amused with herself as well! Proof? She tried another one a few minutes later!

Stay-at-home mum update

I've been a part-time stay-at-home mom for two months now. (Incidentally, can you be a part-time stay-at-home mom, or is that a mutually exclusive oxymoron? Or Oxymormon? I'm not sure.) Here are some things I've learned.

1. It's way harder to go to work one day a week than five days a week. I start dreading my work day, Tuesday, on Saturday. "Oh no, the weekend is here! That means I have to go to work soon!" When I'm actually at work I love it, but it sure is hard to go.

2. Mommies are way happier when they get out of the house every day and when they exercise.

3. There are way fewer hours in the day when I stay at home than when I work. Maybe it's because I feel so unproductive (although usually happily so) when I spend 30 minutes playing "I'm gonna get you" and dancing to Weezer and Aladdin than when I teach 12-year-olds about the Civil War. Go figure. Therefore...

4. I get way less done than I think I'm going to each day.

5. Even though I'm home all day, I still need a list to encourage me to clean because cleaning is boring to think about doing, although it's not bad in actual fact.

What have you learned from being a stay-at-home mom or dad, even if you just did it for a little while? Any gems of learning, amusing anecdotes, or things complimentary about me *coughdadcough*?

Walking

Sabrina, of course, can walk now. For a while it was just cute, you know, the I-don't-have-knees wobble walk that ends with a BOOM! It's still cute, but no longer a novelty. To me. To Sabrina, it's not a novelty but a way of asserting her independence.

The worst is at the store. No, Mom, I don't WAAAAHHHHnt to stay in the cart! I want to walk my own self! And pull things off shelves! And hug babies (i.e. stuffed animals)! With my snotty nose! And no! I will not walk with you!

Is she 13 so young?

Babies

I may have mentioned this before, but Sabrina really has a thing for taking care of her "babies." Her current favorite is her 2009 US Open Bear baby. Right now she is carrying it around with a washcloth as a blankie. She will wipe its nose, give it kisses, cover it with the blanket, cuddle it, and strangle it. In such a loving way.

One thing Tiny has stopped doing (for which I thank all the powers-that-be on earth and in the heavens and on the deep blue sea) is putting things in her mouth. I thought that stage would never end! Now, I admit, at Thanksgiving she put some polished rocks in her mouth, but who hasn't thought those things look like candy? Unfortunately, one phase melds into another, and she is now into emptying things--drawers, mostly--and scattering the innards all over the house. Lids. Bibs. Baby food. And my personal favorite, feminine hygiene products. Awesome. I would pray to the powers-that-be to end this stage, but I shudder to think what might be next.

Thanksgiving

I expected Thanksgiving to be a small, family affair with Zane, Tiny, and myself, and Benn, Cheri, Elli and Bode, and Boyd, Emily, and Grant. Then, we found out Dad's friend Bruce was coming. Great, I groused to myself, now I have to eat with a fork instead of just shoving it in. Imagine the shock to my table manners when I found out that not only was Cy coming with Ella (although they're practically family, so at least I could still lick my knife), but that Mom invited a few foundlings, as usual! Invited to our feast were Mei and Bing, who, being Chinese (if you didn't figure that out) don't have much family around and aren't really familiar with American Thanksgiving (although they have had pumpkin pie. From Costco. For two people. I hope they REALLY liked it. Thank you, Costco).

Then, at the actual feast, we also got Kathleen and Jay, as well as Alison and her kids, and Shawn and Jim. I have suspicions that this is because Auntie broke her femur (at a rich person's house, and she won't even sue)and therefore did not want to stand up for hours cooking turkey, smashed potatoes, etc. One can hardly blame her, although one CAN make snarky remarks. The total count, I thought, would be 12. It was 26. So much fun!

Tiny continued her tradition of screaming when she was tired and sitting on strange men's laps. She had not met Bruce, Shawn or Jim, and sat on each of their laps. Her favorite was Jim, thank goodness. I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, and nothing against any of the many strange men Sabrina has hung out with, but if she HAS to have a strange-man favorite and sit in his lap for long periods of time, I'd just as soon she choose the gay man. Just sayin'. I also hope her affection for men she's never met before PHASES OUT before she turns, oh, one and a half. I shudder to think.

Autism Update

Sabrina was immunized for MMR two and a half weeks ago and still does not have autism.

I'll keep you posted.

GRRRR! GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!

So, Sabrina has thought it a good idea to wake up in the night again lately. It isn't. A good idea, I mean. I think it was a combination of getting shots and an ear infection (which I refuse to treat with antibiotics because they don't really work on ear infections usually), but I DON'T CARE, UNIVERSE! MAKE HER SLEEP! The worst was two nights ago when she was up for over an hour, screaming. She finally slept without me giving in. BUT: last night she woke up at the ungodly hour of 4:30, and I did it. I just fed her. Ten minutes later I was back in bed. Curse it.

The best part of all this, though, is when I pick her up in the night her little arms go around my neck and she holds on as if I'm saving her from the deep, dark terrors of The Crib At Night. It's so sweet, it almost makes up for the fact that I'm awake. Almost.

Halloween!

This was Sabrina's second Halloween, as a simple calculation will tell you. You may remember (or not) that last year on Halloween I finally decided in the afternoon of October 21 to get Sabrina a costume and could not find one, so she had to go as me. This year I was much more prepared, and bought her a costume in August. Here is Sabrina, magical flying unicorn! She went trick-or-treating to exactly three houses and yet got about 10 houses worth of candy. You can see why, can't you? She ate her M&Ms, but I got the rest.





Her costume makes me think of when my niece Elli was flapping her arms at my mom's house and her mom, Cheri, made some comment about a cute little bird. Elli immediately made THE SADDEST FACE EVER and came and sat on Cheri's lap and cried with her elbows tight to her sides BUT HER HANDS STILL FLAPPING. Why was she so sad? Because she was a flying horse, of course, NOT a bird. Cheri immediately apologized, and OF COURSE Elli was a flying horse, she could tell that now that Elli was closer to her. In that spirit, here are Elli and Bode in their supercute Halloween costumes. Elli, you will notice, is a horse and rider, whereas Bode is an adorable (but still manly) duck. Cheri told me after much searching she found Elli's shirt in the boys' section of the DI and the fabric for her hair in the bargain bin. So, everyone's a winner!



And here are a few more pictures because Tiny is SO DANG CUTE! Have I mentioned how much she likes socks? And doesn't she have such a precious little face? That's right: my blog, my gushing about my kid.

Update on Tiny

Sabrina is getting so big and strong! Okay, so she's now dropped to the 1st percentile in weight despite my use of cream, butter, cheese, and other delicious delicious foods, but she's sure growing up! She can now say mama, dada, grandpa, grandma, tickle, kitty, dog, uh-oh, bye bye, hi, more (usually to do with candy--just kidding mom!), and milk. And monkey. And probably some others. I'll keep you updated, because I know you care.

Sabrina is also imitating a lot right now. She will take a stuffed animal and a blanket or towel, usually that she has pulled from the oven door, and lay the animal down on the floor and cover it up with the "blanket." Super cute when she tries to use one of Spencer's (clean) soccer socks as a blanket. She also wants me to pull out the Dance Dance Revolution dance pad so she can "dance" on it.

Sabrina is also loving the whole dressing herself. She has been able to pull off her socks for a while (Oh! she can say sock! and shoe!) but has recently also been able to put them ON. Yes, sometimes she puts both on the same foot and both feet down the same pant leg, but it could be worse. She could be taking her clothes OFF.

She also now has hair long enough to be put up in cute little ponytails. I love the whole fountain look! It does mean when I work on Tuesdays she sometimes looks like a vagrant (let's be honest, dad's are great but don't do hair) because she often wakes up after I leave. Fortunately, the daycare girls love to do baby hair, and she usually comes home NOT looking like a vagrant.

The end. Of the cruise.

After we left Glacier Bay, we booked it down to Ketchikan, a charming Alaskan village where we saw yet more salmon spawning, seals eating the aforementioned salmon before they made it to the river, and, most importantly, took a horse-drawn carriage ride around the town. Oh, and bought some souvenirs, because it was our last stop in Alaska.

Here it is: Ketchikan!


The carriage: Elli's request for the trip along with the train ride, which naturally was honored.



Sabrina in her new Alaska hat.


Sabrina and Spencer: Being cute.


The next day we went to Victoria, BC, Canada. We decided to go out to the Buchard Gardens, which were AMAZING. See? Oh, and Mom bought us all (who managed to stay with her) Italian ice cream. Yum!





We had this really cool van driver that took us there and brought us back to the ship. He was a Latvian Jew who had also lived in...okay, I forget. He told us some jokes, so I told him one about an American Jew who moves to Israel, and drives a camel to work every day. The camel gets stolen, and the police find the owner does not know the camel's height, color, or anything other than the camel is male because every day people say "Hey, look at the big shmuck on the camel! It was a big hit. Anyway, we then got back on the boat and went home! But not before: some rock climbing!




So, to make a long story short (too late!) it was a wonderful, fun, extraordinary trip. Even if I didn't see a bear eating a salmon from a stream. What more would I have to look forward to if I'd seen everything?

Alaska (again. still)

At this rate, I will never get out of Alaska! At any rate, after Skagway we moved on to the northernmost point of our voyage, Glacier Bay! There are apparently a million glaciers and some are advancing, some retreating. But all are calving into the ocean! The most exciting part was seeing huge chunks of ice break away from the glacier and CRASH! into the sea. Like this.

Okay so you can't see the glacier calving, but YOU try taking a picture of something like that! Geez. Anyway, it was super cool. Also, super cold, at least for July. This was the day I was glad for my winter clothes. Also, that Mom and Dad got an upgraded room with a big window, so we could sit inside and enjoy the glaciers.

That night, for Family Cruiseship Night, Mom read us the story of Stickeen, the little dog who explored the glaciers with John Muir. It was very nervewracking. Is Stickeen going to make it up the glacier? Will he fall to his death? Will he get lost and freeze to death? Fortunately, this book was NOT in the horrible, horrible tradition of Old Yeller and Where the Red Fern Grows, and Stickeen lived. Yay! Then each family got a copy of the book of Stickeen. Oh Stickeen, you rascally dog.

Here's a picture of me and Sabrina. Oh, and the glacier too. You can see it was a cold,overcast day, but at least it wasn't foggy! Imagine slogging our way all the way up here (on a cruise ship: I really know what hardship is like) to see...fog. That would be lame.

Huh.

So, Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize for...what was it? Contributing to niceness, or something? Making Europe happy by putting down the US? Something like that? He was nominated two weeks into his Presidency? Huh. Well, I'm sure Alfred Nobel is way excited, up in heaven, that his prize was given to people like Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama. Obama? Not sure.

Honestly, I think even the most rabid supporters of Obama have to be secretly saying, "For what? But, yay!" Bill Clinton, NOT a rabid Obama supporter, must be pissed. I mean, the previous Democratic President to him, Jimmy Carter, gets it. His own Vice President gets it. The next Democratic President now has it too! Where's Bill's? SO not fair. I'm sure we could get a made-up reason for Clinton, since Carter, Gore, and Obama all have made up reasons, too. I mean, don't give the FREAKING NOBEL PEACE PRIZE to people who saved hundreds of Jews during the Holocaust or a Chinese rights activist, or whoever. Let's make this REALLY POLITICAL, and in fact let's take away ANY qualifications whatsoever, and just award it to the people we like and hope to influence, shall we? Are we waxing sarcastic now? Maybe a little.

Pictures of my Industriousness

I Have Been Informed...that I need more pictures on my blog. There are too many words, here, Mozart. Just cut a few! (Just kidding. I just wanted to work in that quotation from Amadeus.) Anyway, as you faithful readers know, I've been painting my house. I have the front ALMOST done, and I don't think I'm going to finish this year. Well, the world will always have another spring. Here's the unpainted part of my house. Like the peeling paint and gross gray color? Me either.




Here's my newly-painted house. I used stain rather than paint, because the front of the house was practically bare wood. It actually WAS bare wood in some places. This is better, no? I get lots of compliments from my neighbors, who are probably just happy our house isn't pulling down their property value anymore.

Skagway

Last time I posted a picture of me with Sabrina and Spencer at the Mendenhall glacier. Here's another picture of the glacier's lake with icebergs. Also, I'm cuter here.

So, the next day we made it up to Skagway, just a few miles from the Canadian border of Yukon Territory. I'm sure Skagway used to have an economy other than tourism, but I don't think it does now. There is one main drag of "authentic" shops. Mom, Cheri and I walked into the rest of town a little bit, where the people who work in the shops live. It's a beautiful small town where I'm sure everyone pulls together and feels like a real community, especially in the winter. Mom wants to move there, no surprise. Here's a shot of the tourist part.

We saw some local wildlife, too. Okay, we saw salmon and a seal, but whatever. The salmon were spawning, and I guess once they lay their eggs they die, and the baby salmon live on the body of their parents. I mean, I've heard of giving your life for your children, but still. Because the stream the salmon spawn in is now a dock for tour boats, there is a drain the salmon go up. This is a good place for a meal, if you are a seal.


Finally, bowing to Elli's every wish (as is proper), we took a train ride up to White Pass Summit, crossing briefly into Canadian (British Colombian) territory. It was an amazing ride. I think Sabrina was trainsick, because she was not happy. The scenery was amazing, though.




That night we had to book it (I guess) to Glacier Bay, because really, the waves were so high I thought I was going to pop right out of bed. Thank goodness, I didn't have any seasickness. Sabrina had a little bit of a hard night, which is why she slept with us. She only fell out of bed once. I'm not a bad mom.

Juneau: Alaska's Picturesque Capital

So, off we went. Here is a picture of our cruise ship. I'd guess it is bigger than all three of Columbus's ships put together, but HE didn't have to deal with the Northern Latitudes. So there. As you recall from my last post, we are the very bottom set of windows you can see on the boat, which was Deck 4.

Our first stop was Juneau. You can only get there by sea or air because of the Alaskan Mountain Range. They say it would be cheaper to move the capital to Anchorage than keep it in Juneau, but like THAT'S going to happen. It was a beautiful little city, though. Here's Spencer in front of a giant anchor (duh) and another view of the environs.



At every stop you can take "shore excursions." My goal was to see a bear eating spawning salmon. I did not. But we did see the Mendenhall Glacier, "The World's Only Drive Up Glacier." Of course, we didn't actually get on the glacier, but it was amazingly beautiful. See?

We also went whale-watching. We saw a whale who was surfacing, breathing, and diving. Very, very exciting. We watched her for about 15 minutes. We were holding our breath the whole time. Yes, Martha, THERE SHE IS AGAIN!!!! Finally, we left her behind. Not all was lost; we saw NINE whales, one of which decided to put on a show of leaping all the way out of the water repeatedly, and another which showed off her beautiful fluke. Since our camera died right when we saw Exciting Whale, here is the best I can do.

Sorry. Try googleing "whales jumping all the way out of the water" and you'll get a small sense of what we saw. Awesome!

Afterwards, it was back to the ship for a good (ha ha) night's sleep. Tomorrow: Skagway!

Back to the summer...

When we left our intrepid space-travelers, they had gotten back from Lake Powell for 12 hours and started cleaning up after Katrina. Oops, I mean The Great Pipe Burst.

After a short night's sleep, we left for the airport to go to ALASKA! Dad, at this point, had been to 48 states (there are 50). The other one he hadn't been to, besides Alaska? North Dakota. It was a hard decision to make. Which state do we knock out this family vacation, North Dakota or Alaska, North Dakota or Alaska....

So, a cruise to Alaska it is! We went on Norwegian Cruise Line, and they are geniuses. At check-in every person, including Sabrina, got a card. It was our room key, credit card, and ID in one. Our picture was taken and scanned in with the card, so when coming back on the ship they could just scan our card and tell it was us. Neat! Also, whenever you wanted to gamble (I never did), get drinks (I never did), play video games (I never did) or whatever, all you had to do was scan the card! And it didn't even feel like real money! Genius!

We settled into our room, and then I was the genius. I told Spencer he could go explore. Now, he had just spent a week cooped up on a houseboat, along with two 6-hour long car rides on either side of that, plus a 2-hour plane ride, plus getting on the ship. He was off like a shot! Later, when Zane asked him which trip he liked better, he said Alaska because you could go exploring.

Here is Sabrina looking out our window. We we on the bottom floor for guests, so we got a porthole instead of a window. Reminds me of the submarine ride at Disneyland!




Here is Spencer on his bed. Zane and I had a king size bed and Sabrina had a crib. Spencer's bed folded into the wall and got taken down at night by the stewards who also made animals out of our new towels. The creepiest was the monkey that hung from the ceiling, but they were all pretty cool.



This is Mom and Dad's room. They decided to get a bigger room with a balcony so we could sit there on the day we went to Glacier Bay, so we could a) get a good view and b)not rub shoulder with the masses.

Back at School

It's been a long four weeks! Right after we got back from our trips I started school, and I've been substitute teaching since then. It's at Salt Lake Arts Academy and in the subject I've been teaching for five years, so it's not really that hard. Except this week, I have been substituting for a math class just one period a day. Here's what I've learned.

-5th and 6th graders are really, really squirrelly 6th period. Actually, all the time.

-I can know perfectly well how to do something, and explain it well, and sometimes kids still don't get it.

-Stupid kids are really, really frustrating. (That's a joke. Kind of.)

-I have more patience than I thought I had for the above problem.

-Some kids will sit and stare at a paper for 15 minutes at a time, then do 3 minutes of work in 30 seconds if the teacher is standing over them.

-I'm really glad I teach 7th and 8th graders normally. Phew!

Overheard at Lake Powell

Ow! No Sabrina! We do not bite Mommy's toe!

There were six toothmarks.

Lake Powell 2

To recap: We have driven away two houseboats, and now have the cove to ourselves. Sweet! Over the next two days numerous houseboat-mooring scouts come by, but we do not get neighbors until Thursday. The total number of people we scare off: 6.

Because Vienna had a soccer tournament, she and Marilyn do not come down until Monday. Zane and Zane go to get them. As they come back on the boat, Zane (my Zane) yells, "What do you have on the floor of the closet?" I yell, "What closet?" because we have several in our house. Apparently under the assumption that a repetition will provide a different answer, Zane says, "What do you have on the floor of the closet?" The scenario repeats. Finally, I say, "In our room I had some clothes for Alaska." Well, Marilyn brings the happy news that a pipe in our backyard has burst and flooded our basement and bedroom. And closet. Not good. Fortunately, a neighbor noticed it and called Zane's office, who called Zane's brother who was still in town, who turned off the water and pulled up our carpet and put out fans and rescued various personal items and whose wife did ALL the laundry that was on the floor. I love you Lance and Breklyn!

Lake Powell

So. When last we left our intrepid travelers, they had braved the obstacles of flat tires and locked cars. Finally, they have arrived at their destination, just to board a boat and sail to a new destination.

We found a nice little cove off a main-ish channel with two other boats in it. I confess, I was a little worried that one of them would be a PARTY BOAT with loud music, drunken laughter, and jumping into the water late into the night. I like to sleep at night. Apparently, though, the other boats liked to sleep at night too, because the next morning BOTH boats came over to talk to us. One asked how long we would be there (a week), and one artlessly asked if we didn't want a beach for all our kids. No. Both other boats left by the next day, one pulling out by lunchtime that day.

The funny thing is, we were actually pretty quiet all night long. I mean, yes, with sixteen kids there were some wakeups in the night, but not many. I think the real problem was the early morning. We were quiet until 7:00 am, and not too bad until probably 7:30, but then, yes, we were awake. But geez, the sun is up! How can you sleep until 9:00 (really, nine?) at Lake Powell? Well, you can't sleep until 9:00 at Lake Powell if the boat next to you has sixteen kids, I guess. Well, we drove them away to another place, hopefully one where they could sleep to their heart's content.

August in Review

I know I haven't blogged for most of August, but I have a good excuse. Well, excuses.
1. Getting ready for two trips on consecutive weeks.
2. Going to Lake Powell with the Froerers.
3. Going to Alaska with the Buyses 15 hours after getting home from Lake Powell.
4. Cleaning up after two trips and one flood.
5. Being tired from aforementioned activities.
6. Starting school (I'm substituting for a teacher on maternity leave for three weeks) one day after returning from Alaska.

See? Not much time for blogging. I will, however, reward your patience by beginning What You Missed.

Lake Powell, that land of sun and...water. The Imprinted Canyons. We drove down with Zane Sr., the better to not pay for gas. Yes! We also caravaned with The Babcocks and the Greens (Liz and Victoria, et. al.). Upon arrival in Spanish Fork for breakfast, we discovered a flat tire on the Green's boat trailer, and Zane Sr. locked his keys in his car. No!

One hour later...

We are on the road again! Now, making it to our houseboat by 2:00, the drop dead time, is in jeopardy. We drive fast. We arrive at 1:45. Whew! Loading the boat goes according to plan. No one falls in the water and drowns (this is true all week), and there are very few tears. Not even from the grownups. By 4:00, we are sailing away to find a good spot for our week-long adventure. Both engines work, to everyone's surprise, and they even usually shift. It's going to be a good week.

So...Tired

This has been a busy week. Hence the no updates. Just about every spare naptime minute I've been painting the outside of our house. Green. Also, painting my hands, arms, feet, and, unfortunately, hair. Green also. Oh, and fingernails. Green. The front of my house is done, except the trim, and so far I've used almost 5 gallons of paint, which is a little more (about twice as much) as I planned.

Today I also found a daycare center for Tiny. I went to a few, but this one is clean, being remodeled, close to Zane's office, and the woman who runs it seems to know both her kids and her stuff. Best of all: they have tiny, tiny chairs, just the size of Tiny. She sat in one while I went out to look at the playground, then got up and played with toys. Without knowing I was missing. I hate this place! The woman who runs it was extremely organized and had a list of all the things I need to bring (blanket, change of clothes, diapers, wipes) and a list of all the food groups the kids get at every meal and snack.

Sabrina also got her second set of year pictures today. She liked this place better (Gingerbread Photo), and we even got a smile or two. No annoying RRRRRRRRRs up in the dog whistle range. Still, she did a have a little stranger danger. When I get back from my world traveling in two weeks, I'll have the Sears pictures (no smile, amazing face) and the 3, 6, 9, and 12 month panel. Baby's a year old!

Pictures, Take Two

I took Sabrina to get her pictures taken again today, because those we took on her birthday were NOT successful. She was way too clingy. I put her down, and NOOOOOOO! Piiiiick meeeee uuuuuuupp! Okay baby girl, let's try again. No, let go of my hair. And shirt. And earrings. Okay, don't hold on with your teeth. Good! No, stop crying, Mommy's right here. Okay, I'll pick you up again. Oh, you're done crying? Good. Now....No, don't cry. Sigh.

Yeah, well, it was almost like that again this time, too. We got a grand total of zero smiling pictures, but we did get one beautiful picture of her little face. I was kind of bugged at the photographer, though. You'd think she'd learn after a half hour that every time she touched Sabrina or did that really high loud, annoying RRRRRRRRR! Sabrina would start crying. Oh, and be ready to snap a picture whenever she's not crying, 'k? Because, if you wait for a smile you be waitin' a long time. Oh, and here's another tip: don't lose all your customer service skillz when the customer pulls out a coupon, because the whole POINT of the coupon is to make people come IN to your STORE so they HAVE A GOOD EXPERIENCE and COME AGAIN. Capice?

Happy birthday baby girl!

Yesterday, Sabrina turned one. (Or, as Dad put it, Tuesday was her last day of being zero.) I took her to get some pictures at Sears (coupon), and ended up walking through the baby clothes. When I saw those "newborn" clothes, I just got so nostalgic for the tiny Tiny one! It's hard to remember the lack of sleep and 45-minute nursing sessions (just to do it again an hour and 15 minutes later) and so easy to remember her tiny body, skinny little folded-up legs and the challenge of dressing and bathing this brand new human. Way back then Sabrina was an extension of me. A really needy extension, but still. When she slept for four hours I was delighted, and when she wouldn't wake up for a feeding I worried she would starve. She had yellow poop and her legs did not reach to the leg divider in the swing.

Now she is big (well, 2nd percentile in weight, but still). She is mobile, can climb into her stroller, stands up, screeches when she doesn't like something, has solid, disgusting poop, and can give hugs and kisses. She loves stuffed animals and sleeps with a death grip on her kitty. Sabrina likes to pull books off shelves and silverware out of the dishwasher. She loves books and hates the third hour of church. In other words, she is becoming her own person. I feel like celebrating, and crying.

Service to Community

Today, the 24th of July, I got up at 6 am to go charge people for parking at Zane's office. I made $57, not bad. I also got yelled at once by a guy who works for Qwest, telling me I have no patriotism and parking should be a community service, and with the economy...I thanked him for being a nice, kind neighbor, and he left in a huff. He apologized later, but I feel I must justify myself.

Okay, here goes. Who payed $3 to park? Old people, handicapped people, and mothers of small children. (Oh, and people who work at the office and our family. Perks!) If we were not charging for parking, most of these people would have had to park blocks away, and perfectly able people (like Mr. I can be rude because you're an easily intimidated girl) would park in the close spots. Duh, we don't park far away because an old person might get the parking space we could have had!

I wish I would have said to Mr. Icbrbyaeig "What's more American than capitalism, prick?" But I didn't. However, I'm saying it to YOU, which is almost as good.

Productivity

I have been SO productive these last two days! It's really very exciting. One of the things I did today--five hours worth--is get the food ready for our trip to Lake Powell. Two hours of cooking bacon, anyone? The thing is, I am really product-oriented, and man, did I complete some products today!

Another really exciting thing is that Sabrina was outside yesterday and stood up. No, waaaait for it. While she was up, she took three steps! (That's it, you can cheer now.) She's really standing up a lot lately, so I can't wait for her to really start walking. Wait, then she starts running, and then she makes a beeline for the dog food or cat food because it, apparently, is tasty. Oh well, it's not like she doesn't do that now.

Last, of course, is happy birthday to my daddy!

Litterbug

I have several pet peeves. I should stop feeding them, maybe then they would go away. Anyway, one of them is I hate people throwing their cigarette butts out the car window. I really want a license plate frame that says:

The world
Is not your ashtray

At a stoplight yesterday, I had just such an occasion to yell this at an inconsiderate, selfish smoker. He was surprised, at first, and looked all confused. This did not surprise me; smokers lack a certain amount of consideration for others. After all, who could object to secondhand smoke and cigarette butts all over our fine city of Ogden? Then his unsurprisingly uncouth personality (he is a smoker, after all) took over, and he drove away at a high speed, threw a napkin out the window, and flipped me off. I couldn't help but laugh. Oooh, don't throw a napkin at me! Stupid smoker.

Talking

Overheard in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple: Sabrina, we don't quack in the temple.

Sabrina can now say quack, hiiiii, kitty (the other day she was waving madly and saying diddydiiddydiddydiddy. I looked over and saw Achilles sitting in the doorway), tickle, daddy, and (most importantly), cookie. She says a GREAT cookie.

Getting stuff done

I reread (most of) Evening Class, by Maeve Binchy yesterday and today. One of the mothers spends her..shoot! Sabrina just went out the dog door. Hold on. Okay, I'm back. As I was saying, one of the mothers in the book spends her days "getting things done," which actually means she plays slot machines all day long. Now, I don't play slot machines, such activity being a) unsanctioned by the church; b) illegal in Utah; and c) not really interesting to me, but I do feel like I spend my days "getting things done," which means sometimes doing nothing useful at all. I know that's not true, but putting away laundry and sweeping the kitchen floor is not giving me a big sense of accomplishment. I need to get back to work on my quiet book! (Did I mention my quiet book I'm making for Sabrina? It will be SO CUTE! When I get it done.)

One thing that does make me feel happy is that I got new curtains for my kitchen today. I threw away the disgusting curtains from before. They were disgusting. Also, they clashed with the new green of my kitchen. I swear, I'll post pictures soon!

Don't tell my mom, but...

I was dressing Sabrina the other day. I had her clothes, and put her on the changing table while I bent down six inches to get her onsie. Sabrina was so excited about her clothes that she raised them over her head, over, over, until they were behind her head, and she tipped over. Off the changing table. Into the clothes hamper. She was screaming, I felt like screaming. At the same time, I was giggling, because you should have seen how funny and indignant she looked as the clothes basket caught her! In fact, once I knew she was not hurt I could not stop laughing. Hysterical laughter, sure, but still laughter. Poor baby.

A kind of rough week

It's been a rough week. On Monday, we had Zane's grandma's funeral. She survived her husband by only about six months. It was a surprise to the family that Grandpa died first, because he was so active and Grandma was practically wheelchair-bound. I personally was equally surprised, although maybe I shouldn't have been, that Grandma went downhill so fast after Grandpa died. Regardless, it was one of those happy/sad deaths, where Grandma was really ready to go.

Also on Monday, my grandma died. I was with her two hours before she died, which is nice. My MIL Marilyn said she's been missing her mom for years, and that's how I feel about Grandma. I've been missing her for years. I don't think she's recognized me for years, and hasn't recognized her children for at least six months, maybe more. Here's how I remember Grandma:

Past year: Old. Tired.

Past five years: Aggies soar in '44, I think I'm the oldest person here, Did someone say children? Suzanne Kathleen Wayne Saundra Dale Gay Jerry, Hattie Erma Bagley--what a name, I'd like some cookies and ice cream, [breaking out into song], I just love you.

Before then: Making blankets (who did she make the elephant blanket with the crocheted tails for?), chocolates, biking shorts, rugs, and many other projects; telling stories about Aunt Ginny putting honey in Grandma's hair because Ginny was jealous of Grandma's curls; being a grandma.

I love you, Grandma.

Tickle tickle!

Sabrina is starting to say just a few words and sounds. "Ba" means anything from "book" to "bird" to "hey, look at that person over there! He has a duck on his head!" She also knows "tickle tickle," and usually says it while poking at my toes. A couple of days ago I caught her tickling her own feet, saying "diddle diddle."

And, in more proof that Sabrina is growing up, I was reading in our office the other day. Just a review: when you walk into our house, you are on the main floor. You can go both upstairs, where the office and kid bedrooms are, or downstairs where my bedroom is. So: I was reading upstairs and suddenly realized I couldn't see Sabrina. Usually she goes to Spencer's room because he's got all the cool toys, but she wasn't there, or in the living room emptying my purse, or in the bathroom playing with the toilet water. She had manoeuvred down not one but two flights of stairs and was playing with my shoes in my bedroom, perfectly happy. At least she hadn't gone out the dog door.

The Great Divorce

I just read The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis for my SIL book club today. What a book! Seriously, it ranks up there with Pilgrim's Progress. Theology in story form. Despite the fact that I could only find it for $14 and more, I might have to buy it. Secondhand.

The main idea is that the narrator goes to a gray city where everyone fights and is totally self-absorbed. Then he goes on a bus to "The Valley of the Shadow of Life," where he discovers he is but a shadow, and his feet cannot even bend the grass. He basically wanders around, observing how much most people do not even want to go on to heaven. Most of them that we see actually went back to the gray city.

Here are some things that especially struck me. First, the idea that even if someone decides not to come to heaven, the people in heaven are not sad. At first it seems sort of rude that heavenly beings will not grieve for us (and I think they will grieve for us...er, we will grieve for them) if we choose not to go on, but if we had to be sad because someone did not choose heaven, our happiness would be held hostage to those who will only enter heaven on their own terms, rather than God's terms. In somewhat shorter form: even if our happiness is sometimes held hostage here, it will not be held hostage in heaven. I think this idea needs a lot of pondering before I settle down to exactly what it means.

Another amazing idea in the book involves a man with a lizard on his shoulder. The lizard represents a bad habit--I think it was lust, or "sensuality." An angel asks the man if he, the angel, can kill the lizard. The angel must have the man's permission, which the man at first is unwilling to give. When the man finally does give permission, the angel kills the lizard (which hurts the man), but then the man becomes solid and the dead lizard turns into a magnificent (live) horse, on which the man then joyfully rides to heaven. It's sort of a King Lamoni "give up all your sins to know God" kind of deal. What the narrator's guide says is, "if the risen body even of appetite is as grand a horse as ye saw, what would the risen body of maternal love or friendship be?" In other words, we don't just have to give up our sins, but everything to God, and once we do he will return it more glorious than we can possibly imagine.

Finally for now, as this 120-page book could be discussed all day, is the idea that if we do not forgive, we cannot get into heaven. Who is to say that the person who cheated us or was a murderer or corrupted our children will not repent? And if God forgives them, can we really withhold our forgiveness? And who does it matter to? Not the repentant sinner! Just to us! As one of the angels said, "You are not a decent man and didn't do your best. We none of us were and we none of us did....I haven't got my rights, or I should not be here. You will not get yours either. You'll get something far better. Never fear."

May we all not get our rights, but something far better.

No. 16

We were up at the FCC (Froerer Family Compound) today for Father's Day, when suddenly, out of nowhere, Sabrina stood up. By herself. I looked over and there she was, solid as can be, waving and making baby noises. I, of course, started shrieking, "She's standing! Look, she's standing all by herself!" and other, less intelligible phrases. Everyone looked politely for a moment, and then went back to what they were doing. Sigh. When you're the 16th of 17 (soon to be 20) grandchildren, standing up is just not that big a deal. I wish Karen or Cheri had been there, because they would have given Sabrina the kudos she deserved!

Today was also, besides the Vernal Equinox, Father's Day and Sabrina's First Standing Day, our second anniversary. We decided to put off celebrating until next weekend, since this weekend we have Spencer, and let's face it, an 8-year-old is not conducive to anniversary games. You know, like Star Wars video games and strip poker. Good times had by all.

New Tricks

Oh, I am so proud! Tiny is doing so many tricks! Of course, she won't do them on cue, so you'll just have to take my word for it that, in addition to saying "quack quack" at just about any animal (including herself in the mirror), she also unloads the dishwasher (of silverware, even when it's dirty, and places it neatly on the floor), and also bounces up and down when I sing "dance dance dance" to the tune of "Peter and the Wolf." You know, da, da, da-da da da, da-da da da, da-da da da da DAAA da da DAA, da da DAA daaa daa. So cute, especially in the cart at Costco. People must think I'm nuts. I'll have to remember to stop this behavior when Tiny is a teenager.

In other news, I called in to talk radio for the first time in my life. Doug Fabrizio from Radio West on NPR was hosting some guy who made the movie "Outrage," in which he outed politicians he says are gay but who are closeted and vote against gay issues. This filmmaker said being in the closet has a lot of personal costs, which is what I responded to. He then said being gay and voting against gay issues is an issue of hypocrisy, and therefore it's a valid news story, like any other hypocrisy like criminal behavior or tax evasion. What I said was there is a personal cost to being "out," too, and that he was playing god (with the implied subtext that he was a big meanie). What I wish I could have said to his response (the hypocrisy bit) was that he was COMPARING BEING GAY TO BEING A CRIMINAL OR CHEATING ON YOUR TAXES! Hello! I don't think that's the message you are trying to send! Nor is it in any way accurate! So besides being a big meanie, you're a bonehead, also! Great job on convincing me!

Bath, and breathing underwater

A couple of days ago, Sabrina threw up. Long story.

Okay, not a long story. She threw up twice. A lot. On me. And herself. End of story.

So, needless to say, she smelled, well, gross. I decided that, as it had been four (or more) days since her last bath, the vomit was the last straw, and bathed her. Sabrina now loves her bath. She crawls around in the two inches of water, squealing when she sees the baby in the silver bath hardware, and quacking at her duck. She also likes to suck on her washcloth, I guess because she's thirsty. Whatever.

Because she likes to suck on the washcloth and chew on her duck, sometimes she tries to put her mouth on them while they're underwater. This does not work. Here's how it went:
-Mmmmm! A duck!
-blphefff!
-ahchoo. blink blink. smile.
-delicate cough.
-Aha! A washcloth.
-blphefff!
-little sneeze.
-Mommy! Oh, okay. Everything is fine. Doo daa.

It was a good bath.

Weather

What is with this rain?! It's like...Saskatchewan! It's probably not over 22 degrees! Celsius, I mean. Sorry, a little Canadian slipped in there. Seriously, though, I want to run through the summer fields! Dip my toes into the stream! Weed, mow the lawn, pull out thorn bushes...ah, the joys of being a home owner.

So, it's day 3 of being a SAHM. It's actually awesome having Spencer here, because we can do a few more things than Sabrina and I can. Every day he does math and reading, and an indoor and outdoor chore. Unless it's cold, miserable, and rainy. Okay, so he hasn't done any outdoor chores yet. Still, he really seems to like the routine of it all.

Jamie gave me a great idea to do with Spencer, too. Y'know how kids learn to count by 2s, 5s, and 10s? Her first graders also learns 3s, 4s, 5s, well you get the idea. Then, they are easily able to do multiplication. Genius! Spencer can now count by 3s to 36.

Sabrina can not yet count at all, much less by 3s to 36, but she can: 1) say KA for kitty 2) Say oof for woof 3) say ak ak for quack quack and 4) sit down in her high chair when we say "No! Sit doooown Sa-brina!" Then she stands back up again. Don't tell me to strap her in, houdini-baby just slides back out of the straps.

SAHM

Day one of being a stay-at-home mom: Baby is up at 12 am. 3 am. Tired. So. Tired. Morale drops. Alarm goes off at 6 so new SAHM can go to office to work. Alarm is smashed by hammer. Morale improves.

Day looks better at 7:45. SAHM arises, feeds previously cute baby. Baby pouts and cries all morning. Day not looking so great after all.

9:00 Spencer cleans room. SAHM believes she can do this SAHM thing.

10:30 baby goes to sleep. Must wake her at 11:00 so SAHM can go to dentist. Nope, day is hard after all.

12:00 dentist appointment. One cavity. Curses! To feel better, SAHM scouts for sugar, but resists just in time.

2:00 SAHM at home, reunited with children. Time for video games! Morale improves.

5:45 SAHM's husband comes home. SAHM understands desire to hand off kids to dad and take a tub of ice cream into bathroom, where she doesn't have to share.

8:00 baby easily to bed. Morale improves.

8:30 blogging. Morale improves. SAHM can do this. No problem. No need to die in tent, a la Scott.

Summer Projects

Delightfully, the wallpaper has been stripped. As my white hands evidence, I have primed the formerly-wallpapered walls. I'm hoping to finish painting this weekend. Yay! What's next?

My dear mother-in-law, Marilyn, heard I was painting my kitchen. She laughed a little, and said, "You're never happy unless you have a project going!" My immediate response was (in my thoughts) a slightly indignant, "Yes I am!" Then I thought about it for a minute, and (in my thoughts) admitted ruefully, "No, I'm not." I DO always have to have a project going. Here are my summer plans:

1) Finish kitchen painting
2) Paint entire outside of my house *sigh*
3) Make a church-themed quiet book for a slightly older Sabrina
4) Finish my wedding scrapbook
5) Catch up on Sabrina's scrapbook
6) Collapse in exhaustion

Let's see how much I get done!

House maintanance

What's grosser than gross?

Stripping 30-year-old wallpaper and finding HAIR in the wallpaper glue!

Yup, that's gross! I'm so happy, though, because I'm almost ready to paint. The walls have been stripped of wallpaper, glue, and hair (ew), and most of them have been washed. My goal is to fill in all the holes today, sand tomorrow, and then paint this week. Yay!

Yesterday Zane and I bought, besides paint, some mulch for our front flowerbed, that until yesterday was just plain dirt. And weeds. Of course, one always underestimates how much filler one needs for such a project, so Zane went back to Lowe's for almost twice as much mulch. Here is our conversation when he gets back.

Zane (casually): "My mom was saying we could really use a tree about here," gesturing to a spot in front of our front door.

Molly (also casually): "Oh yeah?"

Zane (casually): "What would you think about, like, one of those crab apple trees where the apples just dry up and don't drop? Do you think that would look nice?"

Molly (suspiciously): "Are you trying to tell me that you bought one already?"

Zane (guiltily): "Yes, I might be trying to tell you that in a roundabout way."

Molly (smirking): "Do I know you or what?"

Zane (relieved): "Yeah, you're not even funny."

So, we have a crab apple tree now.

Swimming

Over the past weekend, I took Sabrina swimming twice at FFC (Froerer Family Compound). This was her first time! At first she was scared, but it's so cute when babies are scared! They hug their mommies so tight!

I tried to make Sabrina splash and kick in the water, especially on Memorial Day, her second swimming experience. Unfortunately, she had learned a new wookie sound, sort of a guuuhhh! guuuhhh! that she made nonstop, especially when I tried to hold her body away from mine so she could get used to the water.

The EXCITING part, though, is that I said in the high-pitched mommy voice, "Sabrina, can you make a splash?" She regarded me imperiously for a moment, then leaned over to the water and beat her tiny hand in the water. She understands English!

Equal-opportunity vomiter

Traditionally, Zane's family "camps out" in the Froerer Family Compound (my in-law's backyard) on Memorial Day. Despite my feelings of trepidation, I agreed to do so as well. Just for the record, I was right.

As I was brushing my teeth in order to prepare for the ordeal of sleeping in a tent with a baby, Sabrina threw up. A lot. Twice. Okay, fine, I cleaned it up, took her outside, gave her to Zane while I fixed the "beds." She threw up again. He handed her back to me, on whom she immediately threw up again, then laid her little head down on my vomitous pjs, and promptly fell into a deep sleep, from which she did not awaken until 8 am. Zane ran home, 30 minutes away, to get non-vomitous pajamas, underwear, and blankets. Meanwhile, I slept the sleep of the right.

Stripping...wallpaper

I know it's been a while since I posted last. That's because I've been soooo inspired by Cheri's makeover project of her mom's house that I decided to get on a project I've been longing to do for (how long have Zane and I been married?) almost two years. Painting the kitchen!

Now, because the people who lived here before us a) were old so chose very ugly wallpaper, and b) were lazy (more later), this painting has not been the fun-filled activity of accomplishment that I usually enjoy. See, painting is so satisfying. In just a couple of swipes of the roller, look what I did! I made a wall blue! or whatever. In a perfect world, stripping wallpaper is the same. Alas, we do not live in a perfect world. We have two layers of wallpaper in the kitchen (see: lazy). Therefore, the first layer (which is also impermeable to water) must be scraped off, exposing the second (permeable to water) layer. I have put in about 10 hours, and am just over halfway done. It is worth it, however. Check out the "before" pictures, paying special attention to the wallpaper's beauty. Don't pay any attention to the mess. Did I mention I've done 10 hours of wallpaper stripping in two days?




Now, I know my mom "kind of likes" the wallpaper, but I think she was just trying not to hurt my feelings. We'll see if she likes the "after" kitchen better, but since I don't actually have paint yet, and Zane and I haven't even chosen a color yet, well, they may be a long time coming.

Sabrina: Her own person?

I really thought I'd written this post, but I don't see it. Maybe I've just thought it so much I figured I'd written it! If I have posted it already, feel free to let me know.

Anyway, Zane, Spencer, Sabrina, and I went out to dinner a few weeks ago to Ogden Pizzeria. We got a salad to share, which was yummy nutritious iceberg lettuce (fiber and water), cheese, carrots, and...olives. Yuck. Molly hates olives! So, because Sabrina and Spencer both needed to be entertained, I gave Sabrina an olive. I figured she'd make that "ewwww" face, which would be good for a laugh. Nope. She ate it, and another one.

Why, do you ask, does this matter? It matters because I really thought she was me, except smaller and with blue eyes. And less control of her bodily functions. And an earlier bedtime. And--well, you get the idea. I found out on an emotional level that day that she is her own person, and I'm in mourning, a little bit. I mean, what's next? Green peppers and music videos? All joking aside, I like me. I would be so happy if Sabrina was good at the things I am/was pretty good at (like reading, school, sports, music) and didn't care about the things I don't care about (like popular music, celebrities, fashion) and shunned the things I shunned (like drugs, bullying, drugs). What am I going to do if she really gets into cheerleading? Besides have Karen (former BYU gymnast and current SIL) coach her, I mean. Having a child makes me understand the problem with free agency!

And the award goes to...

Envelope please! That's right, we're waiting for the BEST DAUGHTER AWARD, as based on this past Mother's Day! And the award goes to...

CHERI BUYS!

"Oh, thank you! Thank you! I'm just so overwhelmed, possibly because of the 4 hours of sleep I averaged over Mother's Day weekend! I'd like to thank my brothers, who spent a few hours scraping wallpaper off my mom's walls. Thanks to my dad, who kept my mom out of the way for the weekend.

"Ooh, can you hold my gold statuette for me? My arm has seized up from the wallpaper scraping and painting. Thanks. Thank you, sister and brother-in-law, for helping out so much on the project. A very special appreciation to my fabulous husband, who was so supportive and did so much work."

Seriously, though. How on earth is Cheri going to top this one next year? (Just kidding, Cheri. You DON'T HAVE TO TOP IT.) She completely remodeled her mother's living room. She (and brothers and sister) repaired holes, spackled, sanded, painted, put up molding, and cleaned carpets. She painted the living room taupe, she tells me. What is taupe, anyway?

Well, congratulations on your award, Cheri. You've set a new standard, to which we can all but aspire.

Pushing, crying, and other 8-year-old fun

The past few of Spencer's soccer games that I have attended, I have been pressed into refing service. His AYSO games almost NEVER have a ref (really, what do we pay for /huffily). The last AYSO game was notable for the pushing during the first half. Our team was mostly the victim, here, but we had one REALLY REALLY good push right before the half. The pushee (is that a real word?) was the coach's son. He (the coach) was practically on our half of the field with steam coming out of his ears by the time the reverberations of the half-time call had died away. "Don't let your kids push!" Oh, and he also accused this pusher of trash talk. When I asked Spencer about it later, he said this boy says things like "Happy Hanukkah." Trash talk indeed. Fortunately, I could see where this was going, and I informed him that I was going to ref the second half. When everyone got out there, I got out my teacher voice (similar to the mommy voice, but more serious) and told them there would be no more pushing. They obeyed. Mostly.

At the AYSO game, and then at the comp game I refed next, a boy was pushing another boy so hard that when the pushee (you know what I mean) moved, the pusher fell down. And got kicked/stepped on. So the person who had the penalty called on him was the one crying. Ah, good times. I might be late to Spencer's next game. Just sayin'.

Escape!

This morning, Sabrina wakes up early. Too early. Like, 6:00. Okay, so I get up and try to convince her just to play in Mommy's room quietly while Mommy sleeps some more. No dice. Okay, so we get up, go to the living room. Then, Mommy reads and Sabrina plays. The cat comes in through the cat door. The cat is not here. The baby is not here. The baby is...outside, crawling around the dog crap! She has gone out the cat door! The much-maligned cat is nowhere to be seen!

So I (abandoning third person for the time being) cannot GET to Sabrina (as I cannot fit through the cat door), so I had to run outside the side door (in my pajamas), around the wood pile, under the trees, and over the aforementioned dog crap to get my sweet baby before she a) crawls in the dog crap, or b) eats the dog crap.

It was an adventure.

Skinny bones

I took Sabrina to her 9-month appointment the other day. Good news: No shots, therefore, no screaming. Yay! Bad news: Like all grandchildren of my mother (but sadly, not all her children), Sabrina is underweight. Not just the cute, 24th percentile of yesteryear, but 7th percentile. That's starvation rations! I need to feed that T-bone a little more! Check out the skinny arms: You can tell she's not one o' them babies with the fat rolls!

In order to fatten up the child for eating, er, I mean, I have been having her eat more. The problem is, it is WAY more convenient, to say nothing of being less messy, to just nurse her. But Sabrina, in order to gain weight and be big and strong, needs to eat food. SHE knows this. I think that's why she has been trying to eat the cat food. All the time. As is everything that she does wrong, this is my fault. If I were feeding her more, this would never happen. So, in order to prevent my child from eating cat food, I will feed her real food more often. Of course, the result is this, annoyingly often:
And then it gets on her hands, and she rubs her eyes, and wriggles out of her seat and wants me to pick her up while she grabs my hair. And, I might add, this is AFTER I shower. You got the part about her having blueberry/apple/sweet potato mash on her hands, right? I will accept spitup on my shirt, but I'll be danged if I'll let her get blueberry in my hair!

Hypocrisy and being a Parent

Why is it that some people can't draw a line between being a kid and being an adult?

Some parents of former students (I have heard) allow their kids to do drugs. They find bags of marijuana and give it back, and even buy legal but addictive drugs for their kids to...I don't know, play with? Some adults who shall remain nameless have giggling confessed that their kids have found their "stash." Excuse me? Are you a grownup or a boneheaded college student?

I heard an interview on NPR today where the interviewer asked the guest how she could talk to her 15-year-old daughter about sex without feeling like a hypocrite, given that the guest had become sexually active at 14? I wanted to scream (with credit to Lindsay Bayles, a teacher at my school whose basic idea this is): You are not a hypocrite for telling your daughter not to make your mistake! Be a grownup! Admit you MADE A MISTAKE as a 14-year-old! 14-year-olds are stupid by definition! It's okay!

Or: Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't make them ALL yourself.

Disneyland, Season Finale: Airplane

I confess, I was a little nervous to take Sabrina on the airplane. This was in that carefree time we all remember before Swine Flu, so I wasn't too worried about Sabrina getting sick, I was just worried that she would fuss, and cry, and bug people including me. Oh yeah, and I was worried that as I cannot take drugs due to breastfeeding, that I would get sick without my friend, Drama Mene.

Overall, though, I have to give the experience a B. It might have been higher, but we got to the airport too early to preboard the airplane, which I was really looking forward to. Sabrina was perfectly happy most of the time, including takeoffs and landings, and sometimes I let her play on the floor by my feet, which was good for her. There were probably about 20 minutes on each 2-hour flight that were hard, but Zane helped out a lot. And I did not get sick. Phew!

I think, though, the teenage boy who sat next to me on the flight home might be a little scarred from me nursing Sabrina to sleep during her difficult period. I opine, however, that if scarring occurred it will be of brief duration. And he would just need to deal, because I'm just keepin' it real. Yeah, I'm not sure what that means either.

Here are just a few more cute pictures of Sabrina, Zane, Spencer, and me!

Disneyland, Episode 4: Beaches

The last day of our Disneyland trip, we stopped by the beach for an hour on the way back to the airport. Sabrina did not like the sand. She did not like the waves.
She did not like the shells, at least after I told her she could not eat them. All in all, a big hit!
Fortunately, Spencer loved the ocean, even though it was relatively cold. But next time we bring boogie boards in August!

Because Redondo Beach, L.A-A (are you singing the song, children of the 60s?) doesn't have great parking for the millions of people who want to play there, Zane dropped me off with the two kids and went to park the car. Because I'm smart like that, I left my phone in the car. Zane did not show up. And did not show up. So, of course I'm panicking, because it's not like we have a lot of time, and where is he, and what happens if he does not show up (this is the part of my brain that saw Sabrina drowning in the log ride at Magic Mountain). So, I decide, I must call him on a borrowed phone. Item: the family close to me includes a scarily-tattooed 20-something man. Well, you KNOW not to judge a book by its cover, and as a middle school teacher it takes more than tattoos to scare me, so I walked up to him and his girlfriend and asked in that "I know I'm a stranger but aren't we all members of the human family" way if I could use their cell phone. Before I can even finish the question, the scarily-tattooed man jumped up and handed me his phone. Aw. We ARE all members of the same human family.