Friday, April 16, 2010

Indoor Soccer

CAUTION: The following post is rated T for Teen.

Also, if I've seen you in the last few days, you've heard this story. Sorry.

So, Zane and I have been playing on a family-and-office indoor soccer team. We mostly lose, but I've felt good about my skillz, especially considering I'm getting increasingly pregnant. Anyway, the last game of the first season was Monday at 7, with the first game of the next season Monday at 8. These were to be my last games, as my center of gravity is inevitably shifting.

So, at the first game a rather large (not "tall" if you get my drift) girl was really into pushing me. I confess I did stick my elbow out after a few pushes, but if she hadn't been shoving me it wouldn't have mattered. ANYWAY, she totally took me out and I think I sprained my knee. I was *ahem* not happy with her.

So, in the second half, with about 5 minutes left in the game, I returned the favor. Yeah, I deserved that penalty. What I didn't think I deserved was for her to jump up and come at me, screaming that she was going to f*ing punch me in the face. I was actually really calm, because I could not imagine her actually doing so. Also, I teach middle school, pillow girl, and you can't scare me. The ref quickly removed her.

Well, she obviously couldn't get over it, because after the game she was still yelling abuse at me as I was on the field preparing for the next game. She said I have a big butt. Well, those weren't the words she used, if you get the idea. I explained (civilly, I am sure) that I was 18 weeks pregnant. I did not ask what her excuse was, because I was about to play another game and didn't need any more bad karma. The ref congratulated me on remaining calm and acting as I should have, since if I'd thrown a punch, even though I was defending myself, I would have been the one in trouble. Thanks, thanks. Of course, I'm not sure I even know how to throw a punch.

Next game, another woman on the team whines about another girl pushing. "Is the pushing necessary?" /snottily. Of course, our girl was just bodying up, not really PUSHING. However, near the end of the game this same woman PUSHES me from behind. I ask, politely and rather far away from her, "Weren't you the one complaining about pushing?" At the end of the game she said (snottily) "Nice sportsmanship." Honey, you ain't seen nothing!

So, there were my last two sporting experiences before Tiny #2 is born. I feel I've gone out with a bang.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Advanced Baby

My child is so advanced. She's in the terrible twos despite being only 20 months! So advanced. In the past week she has had tantrums about:

* having to wear pants (this is disturbingly common)
* not getting to stab me with a pencil
* having her diaper changed
* being offered juice
* spilling her juice all over herself and the couch (by rights this should have been MY tantrum)
* having medicine
*having daddy not hold her
* having daddy offer to hold her
* being picked up
* being put down
* et cetera and so forth

I think this would be a good time to start potty training.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Spring Break

It's sad, really. I only get one day of Spring Break. There ARE those who poo-poo my sorrow, saying it's my own fault for only working one day a week. My grief is unabated.

HOWEVER, given the 8 or so inches of snow outside, I'm just as happy to not be going to work today. WHO GAVE THE UNIVERSE PERMISSION TO SNOW LIKE THIS? IN APRIL! DURING SPRING BREAK! My one lousy day of Spring Break, and I can barely step outside because it's snowing? It's really not fair.