Wednesday, November 9, 2011

My baby, growing up

Although Miss Sabrina is still crying and whining more (way, way more) than I want her to, she is just so sweet, and she's growing up good. The other day she came in and said, smiling like she knew how cute she was, "You make my heart super happy." Awww.

And lately, when being pregnant, having two kids, having full responsibility of the house and taking care of every bit of crap in my life, a job, another job, another job, and trying to keep clean clothes not just in my house, but actually in closets, kids throwing up and having diarrhea, having a cold, feeling alone, when all this seems to much and I resort to either weeping or tantruming, she says, "You be okay, Mom." In a sweet voice, while petting me and nodding. I feel so unworthy of her, when it's my own weakness that is driving her to comfort me. I'm supposed to be the grownup, and instead it's the 3-year-old. Yeah, that makes me feel good. I think I'll go talk to my daughter to feel better.

Friday, November 4, 2011

At the Doctor

I had my last doctor's appointment on Halloween. Yup, I'm pregnant. Not that there was any doubt, I just sometimes still can't believe it, despite the fact that I look about twice as pregnant as I am. Anyway, my doctor said with a very professional face, "Next appointment you'll be 15 weeks. There are some tests that check for fetal abnormalities that we can run next time." Well, I'm no pregnancy novice. I've played this game before. I asked him if there was a point to having the test done. He said, basically, you can find out if the child has Down's or spina bifida, so you can terminate. I then said, "So there's no point to having the test." I wouldn't say that he looked relieved, but you could tell doing abortions -- or referring out for abortions, whatever -- was not his favorite part of being an OB. He agreed there was no point to the tests, and besides, it's not a really accurate test.

I would be sad if this baby were physically imperfect. It would be really, really hard. But she, or he, is still my baby. That is all.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


We started as all good Americans do, by carving pumpkins. Sabrina told me the shapes, and I complied, as all good mothers.

Sasha was sooooo cute. I dressed him up as his daddy. Perfect, don't you think? I drew in the goatee and glasses with eyeliner. I think it turned out well.

Sabrina got a Snow White (No White, in Sabrinese) costume from Harmony. Hooray, I thought, Halloween done! Besides, I have a No White costume too!

I took Sasha to a few houses. He was really down with getting candy from the bowl, but wasn't so good at just getting one. He was really, really excited the first time he got some M&Ms. (By the way, did you know that one M&Ms is still plural? I think it should be one M&M, but no. I still refuse to say, "Give me one M&Ms." It just sounds wrong.)

Once I took Sasha home, Sabrina and I went out for ANOTHER HOUR. Every time I suggested she was tired or we should go home, she insisted, "I want more trick-or-treating!" She was very good at saying "trick or treat" and "danks" at every house. By the end she was asking me to carry her pumpkin because it was getting heavy. HER PUMPKIN WITH CANDY IN IT. You KNOW that means she was not in her right mind. That means I took her home.

Overall, it was a good Halloween.