Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Family Party!

On Saturday I went to a fabulous family party, in which I was reminded what awesome genes I share with other people. First, I crashed Allie's house at 11:30 with a I'm-out-of-Lexapro incident. She saved me with a telephone and car phone charger. Phew! Then it was back to Allie's at 5:00. This time I didn't break into her house in desperation, but instead waited for the greeting party of my mom and auntie.

It was so great to see my fabulous cousins! I haven't seen Annie for a really long time. It's also been awhile since I saw Julianne. Last time I saw her she was bald. Now she has 1/4 inch (or so) of hair! That's a great feeling. I remember when the first tiny little fine baby hairs came in. I stood at the bathroom counter and petted myself and wept. The end of the trial was in sight. Soon I wouldn't be that lady with cancer, but instead that chic lady with the short hair. Honestly, though, I think Ju pulls off the supershort hair better than I did.

Although Sasha had to stay home because he was sick, Sabrina and Raiden had a great time playing with cousins. Raiden, the youngest that wasn't a baby, managed to make both Owen (age 4) and Bennett (age 3) cry. He's a monster! His favorite game is "wrestle," combined with "roar like a dinosaur." For some reason, the other boys cried when confronted with a tiny body that wasn't afraid to take 'em down. I think it helped (Raiden!) that his head is on the level of the other boys' jaws, so when they bonked heads it was the thick part of Raiden's skull. Sorry, family.

Anyway, it was lovely to see all my family! We should do it more often than every two years.

Monday, September 8, 2014


A few nights ago, Raiden woke up crying. Zane went in to take care of him, and I could hear him (Raiden, that is) saying, "Bottle. In garbage." Zane said, "Did someone throw your bottle in the garbage?" "Yeah." "It's okay, your bottle isn't in the garbage."

That night, I dreamed I had a class of about forty students, and they were all talking at once. And there was nothing I could do. They REFUSED to be quiet. I shouted, I asked nicely, I waited for them to be quiet...nothing.

Can we say whose dream was worse? I guess they were equally bad, but age-appropriate!

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Random Update

It's been awhile since I updated, I know, but I've been busy. Also, my computer won't charge anymore, so I'm updating from school during my prep. Because I need a break from all that correcting. Woe is me.

A very exciting thing happened the other day. Sabrina has been riding her bike with training wheels since she got it in December, but training wheels are just a drag on the bike. She couldn't get going up hills, couldn't go very fast (she did NOT complain about that!), and was generally frustrated with riding anytime it wasn't flat or downhill. I told Zane to take off her training wheels. She cried. And begged. That's why Daddy has to take off the training wheels! Zane came in saying he just left her outside and told her to TRY riding the bike. Just then, I pointed outside. "Is that her?!? The one pedaling down the street?" It sure was! Now she luuurves riding her bike and was disappointed when I accidentally left it at Grandma's house.

Sasha is loving preschool. When I go to pick him up he regularly says, "Can I stay a little longer?" No! Let's go home! Don't you love me? It's great to see him learning his letters and having great little friendships. He can always find a friend at the park. Sasha has also taken to explaining to me that he is so big now, he is five. I've tried explaining that he turns FOUR in a couple weeks, but it doesn't seem to take.

Raiden is also going through an adorable phase right now. He likes to mimic what others say. We regularly get in fights that go like this: "You're cute!" "No, you're cute!" "No, you're cute!" These fights can last for many, many iterations. We also do "You're a ding-dong!" and "You're a silly goose!" Then we laugh and laugh.

So things are basically going great. I'm loving school and Zane is loving being at home with the kids. We're hoping he will have enough collections and evictions to do those primarily, with just a few other cases per year. Prayers for such an outcome are petitioned! I'm so happy right now to be done with treatment and have my kids adjusting to a new school year. I am really so lucky.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

End of Summer

Summer ends for me on Friday. That's my first day back at school. Monday and Tuesday are teacher work days, with kids coming back on Wednesday. With that in mind, here's what stands out from my summer.

1. Camping. Zane accuses me of a bait-and-switch with regards to camping. He claims I said I loved camping when we were dating, but then never wanted to go. Here's the deal: I am sure I never said I loved camping, and even if I did, it can easily be explained away by dating insanity, which is different from lying. Then we got married. Then I was pregnant, had a newborn, pregnant, had a newborn, pregnant, had a newborn, had cancer. So we didn't really have a good time to go camping until this summer. We went to Goblin Valley and to Zane's family reunion. Now I can happily not go camping for a few...okay, fine, I'll do it again next summer. If I have to.

2. Having really cute kids. I love two-year-olds when they're not throwing tantrums. I love how Raiden runs, his little words, and the excitement in his eyes when I understand what he says ("Donut? You want a donut?" "Yes!") Sasha is getting so big and self-sufficient. He dresses himself with shoes on the wrong feet only about 50% of the time and can help a lot with cleaning up once he stops pouting. Sabrina is getting so big. I can't believe she's a little martial arts student and will be testing for her yellow belt on Friday. Although she occasionally torments her brothers, they also cry when they can't be with her. She's always planning games for everyone to play.

3. Being done with treatment. I've been looking forward to the end of this summer since I was diagnosed. When I charted out my treatments, I knew by the time school started in 2014 I'd be done with Herceptin, be reconstructed, and have hair. Check, check, and check. It's been tough to get back on any type of routine this past week since school is starting soon, but I think I'm getting used to my new non-cancerous, perky life. It's actually pretty paradigm-shifting to be done with treatment. My life has largely revolved around treatment for the past 15 months, so being done is weird. Good weird, but still weird.

So that's it. I'm back to work in three days, and my legacy of the summer is camping, cute kids, and being done with treatment. Not bad, but next summer look for the post titled "Molly accomplishes world peace through Being Fabulous."

Friday, August 1, 2014

Ogden Temple Open House

Finally, after many long and difficult years of having to drive to BOUNTIFUL to go to the temple, the Ogden temple is about to open. Today was the first day of the open house, and I volunteered to help out. I was assigned to "disability services" which meant pushing wheelchairs. Now, I probably wasn't supposed to do that, what with only two weeks since my reconstruction and all, but it was totally the best assignment. Other people put booties on patrons, pushed elevator buttons, or pointed with a smile. I got to go through the temple with cute old ladies! Also, there were a few places where the wheelchair route diverged from the cattle corral, so we could spend as much time as we wanted looking at the floor, mirrors, stained glass, paintings, or whatever. It was great.

When I didn't have a patron needing help, I fluffed booties. Whatever you're thinking, it's probably not that. The little plastic booties that everyone has to wear in the temple for the open house came in packs of 10 -- nine booties inside another one. In order to expedite the process of getting them on 2000 people an hour, we volunteers would take the nine booties out of the tenth and fluff it up, as it had been vacuum packed or something. Since they need 4000 an hour, it's an ongoing job.

One of the other volunteers had clearly had a boob job. In looking at her, I noticed that her breasts looked unrealistically perky for a 60-something woman. Then I realized, Hey! MY boobs are unrealistically perky for a 36-year-old breastfeeder of three! Awesome. May that be the most lasting physical effect of the past year and four months.

Oh, and incidentally? Today is my first day of not having Herceptin. That is, it's been three weeks since my last dose of Herceptin. Yay for me!

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Happy Birthday T-Bone

About five years ago, my cousin Emily said something about Sabrina to her husband. He was confused. "Who?" he asked. That's because for the first year or so of her life, we called Sabrina "Tiny" or "T-Bone" because she had tiny bones. Well, that tiny girl is now six years old!

This past year has sucked for me on all kinds of levels. Sabrina is not one of them. She fights with her brothers, yes, and cries when she doesn't want something or wants something she can't have. But she is tender and sweet, and loves fiercely. She hugs me when I'm sad, protects me from the enthusiastic excesses of her brothers when I'm recovering from surgery (all too common!), and bands with her brothers when they are challenged by any outsider. Sabrina is learning to read and is sometimes giddy with her newfound skill, nascent though it is. She loves her friends and can always be found in the middle of the big group of kids.

Sabrina starts first grade in three weeks. I know she will be loved by her teacher because she wants to be good and do well. She will be loved by her friends because she loves them. (Although as the oldest child of two oldest children she comes honestly by a certain amount of bossiness!) And she is loved by me because she is my precious girl, my Squanto Oglethorpe, my Tiny Bones. Happy birthday baby girl.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Surgery Update

Content Alert: I talk about my breasts in this entry. You have been warned!

I'm home from reconstruction. Expanders out, implants in. The pain here is really not bad, as they basically just opened up the previous incisions and swapped out basically the same size fillers. The left side is really fine. The right side is where the cancer was and therefore has been radiated, so they needed to do what is called a latissimus flap. That is, they made an incision along my back of about five inches and pulled the muscle over to my right side so the reconstruction would have good blood supply. Apparently, due to the radiation damage to the skin and tissue, there's about a 50% complication rate if you don't do that flap. I don't have time for complications. School starts in less than four weeks. I need to be healed, danggit!

Anyway, I'm home with food from the Relief Society, help from my mom, and babysitting from all. Oh, and Percocet. What more could I possibly need?