Dear Mr. Trump,

When Zane was in 9th grade, so about 1988, he took a computer class for which he needed to write a letter to a famous person. I almost wet my pants when I read it, so I though I'd share it with you. Spelling and caps as in the original

Dear D. Trump
My name is Zane Froerer, and I live in Huntsville Utah. My mom was killed in a car accident, and my dad was shot by lebanese terrorists. I lost my arm in a fire on a school bus, and was crippled when I tried to save a baby from the wreckage. I work 12 hours a day to by me dinner every other day and new underwear once a month. But now my wheel chair needs repair and I need $500,000 by next to pay the repair bill, and $500,000 by tomorrow or they will throw my and rex, my pet rat out of our home. A box under the bridge on 25th. Can you help me. My Grandma Ned needs another $1,000,000 for plastic surgery or else she will die. I saved up my money for three years and but your game. I play it every day after work. And I cut your picture out of a magazine and hung it on my wall. If I had a phone I would call you. And another thing I need $10,000 to re roof my house. I need a new coat. MY old cardboard one ripped.
your biggest fan
ZANE FROERER

It might have been funnier the first time I read it.