Gone

So, my hair is gone. Now when I look at myself in the mirror, I see the missing breast, the c-section scar, and the tiny, tiny hairless head. So I try not to look in the mirror too much. Sometimes I can pretend. Well, for now I still have eyebrows and eyelashes. One step at a time, right? Until it's all gone.

On the other hand, I did wear my wig for about four hours yesterday. It was not as bad as I have been told. The remaining stubble on my head sometimes got pushed back and was uncomfortable, but overall it felt like wearing a hat. I haven't really been a hat person, but it's better than feeling so conspicuous. I still don't really feel like me, but it's probably the bangs. Well, and the wig is a lot thinner than my real hair, too. I think the color is remarkably close, though, so that's nice. Zane wants me to get a red wig. Maybe a cheaper one?

It seems my kids are adjusting well. Sabrina did tell me to keep wearing the wig once, but the boys just take whatever I'm wearing on my head with aplomb. It's nice. It sort of reinforces that they won't even remember When Mom Had Cancer. Sabrina will a little, but even Sasha won't. That's nice. It will be almost like it didn't happen, for them at least.