I don't want to talk about cancer. It's depressing and chemo is almost here, and I'm not feeling that optimistic and brave anymore. Not now that it's the next step. Instead I give you a special Mother's Day edition.
I went to all of church today. This was only made possible by the boys napping during church. When church is at 9 and Raiden is 1 1/2, we could conceivably make it to all three meetings as a family. Now? Very little chance. However, I wanted to make it to sacrament meeting to a) hear Sabrina sing "Mother I Love You," and b) to get chocolate. In that order. I could always buy chocolate. I haven't eaten the chocolate yet, because it's too amazing to just eat. Or to share. Zane would eat the whole truffle in three bites, whereas I will likely take 70 or so. Sabrina was adorable in her white dress that once was mine, and sang 50% of the words of the three songs they sang. Not bad, not bad at all. She sang 85% of "Mother I Love You." As well she should.
We had a wonderful Relief Society lesson about how we Mormons think we have to be perfect, hence Utah's high rate of plastic surgery and panic attacks on Sunday night. I feel blessed that I have always had wonderful wards where people seem okay sharing their flaws, at least to some extent. I did get a little frustrated when a sister expressed how she would like to bear testimony of how when we are depressed or unhappy we need to get our life right with Jesus. Of course, sometimes this is true! And sometimes we need Vitamin P(rozac), because this is a mortal world. Fortunately, our teacher immediately said that sometimes Jesus can lead us to doctors who can provide us with the necessary vitamins (like Vitamin P). I don't think the first woman was anti-anti-depressants (ha ha), but the way she said it sort of sounds like the depressed person is at fault, a sinner, and needs to get more perfect. It's hard, because she wasn't wrong, but the way it came out could be taken wrong by someone struggling with depression.
In talking to my SIL, Breklyn, about this, she mentioned something to the effect that the natural man being an enemy to God was not just that we have lust or greed or whatever. It's sometimes us feeling sad when we should feel happy. I mean, we have the plan of salvation, knowledge of the preexistence and life after death, eternal perspective, all of that. We know about eternal families and supposedly have a close relationship with our Father in Heaven. And yet, our bodies, our natural (wo)man, through an imbalance of serotonin or whatever, cause us to be unhappy. This idea really makes sense to me.
I have the day off tomorrow, so I'm going with Sabrina to see the baby lambs on a field trip with her preschool and cleaning my house. Sounds like a great day, coming right up!