It's been a long time since I posted. I have great excuses about being busy, working a lot, getting up really early. They're all true. However, it's time I started posting again. I've been diagnosed with breast cancer, and what is more therapeutic than writing your innermost thoughts about your breasts for the consumption of the general public?
Here's the timeline.
Monday, pap smear and oh yeah, breast exam.
Tuesday, mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy. The hell of waiting.
Wednesday, more hell. Then the results. Cancer in the breast, hopefully not the lymph nodes. That's good news!
Thursday, hooray! The waiting is over. Now I can plan. Far fewer tears than any day since Tuesday.
I really like my breasts. And my hair. I think they're two of my best features. I can face it, though. I can face the chemo, surgery, radiation, losing some of my favorite features, reconstruction, nausea. It's all going to be okay. The thought of leaving my babies, though, is unbearably painful. It has caused 95% of my tears. Happily, I don't think it will come to that. Everything looks pretty good.
Humor, naturally, is the way I am going to cope with this. I'm sure I was totally hilarious during the ultrasound of my lump. I did not, however, ask if the lump was a boy or a girl. It seemed too cliche. And, heaven knows, we don't want our gallows humor to be cliche. I do want to say, however, that I showed those doctors. They told me no showering for 24 hours after the biopsy, and I showered after 22. Boo-yeah!
I don't have many answers right now, and I don't even know the questions to ask. I would appreciate all your prayers. I know I'll get through this, hopefully with my sense of humor intact.