Although Miss Sabrina is still crying and whining more (way, way more) than I want her to, she is just so sweet, and she's growing up good. The other day she came in and said, smiling like she knew how cute she was, "You make my heart super happy." Awww.
And lately, when being pregnant, having two kids, having full responsibility of the house and taking care of every bit of crap in my life, a job, another job, another job, and trying to keep clean clothes not just in my house, but actually in closets, kids throwing up and having diarrhea, having a cold, feeling alone, when all this seems to much and I resort to either weeping or tantruming, she says, "You be okay, Mom." In a sweet voice, while petting me and nodding. I feel so unworthy of her, when it's my own weakness that is driving her to comfort me. I'm supposed to be the grownup, and instead it's the 3-year-old. Yeah, that makes me feel good. I think I'll go talk to my daughter to feel better.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
At the Doctor
I had my last doctor's appointment on Halloween. Yup, I'm pregnant. Not that there was any doubt, I just sometimes still can't believe it, despite the fact that I look about twice as pregnant as I am. Anyway, my doctor said with a very professional face, "Next appointment you'll be 15 weeks. There are some tests that check for fetal abnormalities that we can run next time." Well, I'm no pregnancy novice. I've played this game before. I asked him if there was a point to having the test done. He said, basically, you can find out if the child has Down's or spina bifida, so you can terminate. I then said, "So there's no point to having the test." I wouldn't say that he looked relieved, but you could tell doing abortions -- or referring out for abortions, whatever -- was not his favorite part of being an OB. He agreed there was no point to the tests, and besides, it's not a really accurate test.
I would be sad if this baby were physically imperfect. It would be really, really hard. But she, or he, is still my baby. That is all.
I would be sad if this baby were physically imperfect. It would be really, really hard. But she, or he, is still my baby. That is all.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Halloween
We started as all good Americans do, by carving pumpkins. Sabrina told me the shapes, and I complied, as all good mothers.
Sasha was sooooo cute. I dressed him up as his daddy. Perfect, don't you think? I drew in the goatee and glasses with eyeliner. I think it turned out well.
Sabrina got a Snow White (No White, in Sabrinese) costume from Harmony. Hooray, I thought, Halloween done! Besides, I have a No White costume too!
I took Sasha to a few houses. He was really down with getting candy from the bowl, but wasn't so good at just getting one. He was really, really excited the first time he got some M&Ms. (By the way, did you know that one M&Ms is still plural? I think it should be one M&M, but no. I still refuse to say, "Give me one M&Ms." It just sounds wrong.)
Once I took Sasha home, Sabrina and I went out for ANOTHER HOUR. Every time I suggested she was tired or we should go home, she insisted, "I want more trick-or-treating!" She was very good at saying "trick or treat" and "danks" at every house. By the end she was asking me to carry her pumpkin because it was getting heavy. HER PUMPKIN WITH CANDY IN IT. You KNOW that means she was not in her right mind. That means I took her home.
Overall, it was a good Halloween.
Sasha was sooooo cute. I dressed him up as his daddy. Perfect, don't you think? I drew in the goatee and glasses with eyeliner. I think it turned out well.
Sabrina got a Snow White (No White, in Sabrinese) costume from Harmony. Hooray, I thought, Halloween done! Besides, I have a No White costume too!
I took Sasha to a few houses. He was really down with getting candy from the bowl, but wasn't so good at just getting one. He was really, really excited the first time he got some M&Ms. (By the way, did you know that one M&Ms is still plural? I think it should be one M&M, but no. I still refuse to say, "Give me one M&Ms." It just sounds wrong.)
Once I took Sasha home, Sabrina and I went out for ANOTHER HOUR. Every time I suggested she was tired or we should go home, she insisted, "I want more trick-or-treating!" She was very good at saying "trick or treat" and "danks" at every house. By the end she was asking me to carry her pumpkin because it was getting heavy. HER PUMPKIN WITH CANDY IN IT. You KNOW that means she was not in her right mind. That means I took her home.
Overall, it was a good Halloween.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Stake Conference
For a family with two little kids, stake conference can also be known as "Sunday vacation." Today was such a day. But...President Monson and Elder Anderson were speaking at the Dee Events Center. A terrible place to take kids, I'll tell yah, but I wanted to go. Solution? Let Zane sleep in and, and my mil says, "tend." I call it parenting, but regardless, Zane stayed home with the monkeys, and I went to conference.
There were a couple of things I didn't like. Let's get them out of the way first. Okay, there was only one thing, really. Elder Anderson is an apostle of the Lord, right? So he must have some cool, uplifting things to say, right? I'm sure he does, but we didn't hear any of them. We heard a tribute to President Monson. Honestly, I felt like we were at his funeral. Plus, he was sitting right there! Awk-ward. I would hate that, if I were the prophet.
What I liked: honestly, there were so many. The Primary General President spoke (I forget her name). And while her white ruffled super-high necked shirt was unfortunate, I'm not going to comment on it, at all. She gave a nice talk about being a good parent without just addressing the children, who wouldn't have been listening anyway, especially if they were home being "tended" by their father, or being sing-songy. Elder Marlon Jensen also gave a nice talk about the Holy Ghost. Oh, and a woman gave the closing prayer! Now if we can just get a little feminine equality going on during GENERAL conference, that would be great. Then, their was President Monson. Wow. You know how he speaks. What you might not know is how amazing he is in real life. I was in tears several times during his talk. He is just so tender, so kind, so genuine. He spoke on helping people surrounded by difficulties, especially in the context of coming back to church or the family. I've heard he's getting a little...old, but he was right on his game today. I feel very lucky to have been there, and without having to entertain anyone. A good Sunday.
There were a couple of things I didn't like. Let's get them out of the way first. Okay, there was only one thing, really. Elder Anderson is an apostle of the Lord, right? So he must have some cool, uplifting things to say, right? I'm sure he does, but we didn't hear any of them. We heard a tribute to President Monson. Honestly, I felt like we were at his funeral. Plus, he was sitting right there! Awk-ward. I would hate that, if I were the prophet.
What I liked: honestly, there were so many. The Primary General President spoke (I forget her name). And while her white ruffled super-high necked shirt was unfortunate, I'm not going to comment on it, at all. She gave a nice talk about being a good parent without just addressing the children, who wouldn't have been listening anyway, especially if they were home being "tended" by their father, or being sing-songy. Elder Marlon Jensen also gave a nice talk about the Holy Ghost. Oh, and a woman gave the closing prayer! Now if we can just get a little feminine equality going on during GENERAL conference, that would be great. Then, their was President Monson. Wow. You know how he speaks. What you might not know is how amazing he is in real life. I was in tears several times during his talk. He is just so tender, so kind, so genuine. He spoke on helping people surrounded by difficulties, especially in the context of coming back to church or the family. I've heard he's getting a little...old, but he was right on his game today. I feel very lucky to have been there, and without having to entertain anyone. A good Sunday.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Normal
On Saturday, Mom and I planned for her to come up for a visit. I was remembering, I swear...until Saturday morning, of course. I was doing some transcription work, we were cleaning the basement, and it slipped my mind. So Mom called and said, basically, you remember I'm coming, see you in 45 minutes.
Then, I did what every red-blooded American woman would do: freaked out at the state of my house and cleaned until she got there. Seriously, my house was a disaster. Let's just say: I had the previous week off, it was the weekend, and Spencer had been there for three days already. Yeah. The 45 minutes I had, which fortunately ended up being an hour, was just enough for me to not be humiliated. Yay for moms who give advance warning!
We also went shopping for fabric. I want to make Sabrina a quilt for Christmas (I KNOW!), and we needed our basic supplies. It took 2 1/2 hours. That's a long time. But I'm happy with what we got, even though now I have to do it!
Sabrina has been waking up during the night again and coming into my bed. She then keeps coming in until I let her sleep on my floor. Well, last night she went back to sleep in her bed, but it's frustrating. I kind of blame Zane for this, because he has always been afraid of the dark, so his "bribe" to make Sabrina go to bed is to leave the light on. In her room. Or the door open with the hall light on. In other words, he is teaching her to be scared of the dark! She was totally, totally fine until he started that garbage. At least in going to bed. I worry she's waking up a little in the night, and then getting "scared" because it's dark. Dang it. I hope she stops it soon. Especially now that my fall break is over. I have a feeling 6 am is going to come real early on Wednesday!
Then, I did what every red-blooded American woman would do: freaked out at the state of my house and cleaned until she got there. Seriously, my house was a disaster. Let's just say: I had the previous week off, it was the weekend, and Spencer had been there for three days already. Yeah. The 45 minutes I had, which fortunately ended up being an hour, was just enough for me to not be humiliated. Yay for moms who give advance warning!
We also went shopping for fabric. I want to make Sabrina a quilt for Christmas (I KNOW!), and we needed our basic supplies. It took 2 1/2 hours. That's a long time. But I'm happy with what we got, even though now I have to do it!
Sabrina has been waking up during the night again and coming into my bed. She then keeps coming in until I let her sleep on my floor. Well, last night she went back to sleep in her bed, but it's frustrating. I kind of blame Zane for this, because he has always been afraid of the dark, so his "bribe" to make Sabrina go to bed is to leave the light on. In her room. Or the door open with the hall light on. In other words, he is teaching her to be scared of the dark! She was totally, totally fine until he started that garbage. At least in going to bed. I worry she's waking up a little in the night, and then getting "scared" because it's dark. Dang it. I hope she stops it soon. Especially now that my fall break is over. I have a feeling 6 am is going to come real early on Wednesday!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Illness
When you think Scarlet Fever, what do you think of? Personally, I think of Little Women, Beth, and eventual death. Apparently, it's not like that anymore. Who knew?
Scarlet fever is caused by a bacteria, which is why there's no vaccine, and also why it's totally curable and no big deal, now that we have penicillin. It's caused from the strep bacteria, actually. It has a short cycle, with only 2-4 days between exposure and death. Er, before symptoms present. Geez, it's hard to forget about Beth!
How do I know this? Alison's (she's my babysitter) youngest might have scarlet fever. So of course, I looked up all the symptoms and watch my children vigilantly for signs of malaise (they feel bad) and rashes on their necks. None so far. I also looked up scarlet fever on the Internet to find that yes, it can cause all sorts of bad results, if you are retarded and don't take your sick kid with a high fever and bright red rash to the doctor. Phew! I'd do that. At the very least, I'd call Mom, who would say "Don't be retarded! Take that child to the doctor!" That's what she said (more or less) when Sasha had RSV.
It's not that I don't want to relive ANY Little Women (grand tour of Europe, balls, general 19th century life all sounds cool for awhile) but Beth's death? Yeah, I still cry when I read that. Who doesn't?
Scarlet fever is caused by a bacteria, which is why there's no vaccine, and also why it's totally curable and no big deal, now that we have penicillin. It's caused from the strep bacteria, actually. It has a short cycle, with only 2-4 days between exposure and death. Er, before symptoms present. Geez, it's hard to forget about Beth!
How do I know this? Alison's (she's my babysitter) youngest might have scarlet fever. So of course, I looked up all the symptoms and watch my children vigilantly for signs of malaise (they feel bad) and rashes on their necks. None so far. I also looked up scarlet fever on the Internet to find that yes, it can cause all sorts of bad results, if you are retarded and don't take your sick kid with a high fever and bright red rash to the doctor. Phew! I'd do that. At the very least, I'd call Mom, who would say "Don't be retarded! Take that child to the doctor!" That's what she said (more or less) when Sasha had RSV.
It's not that I don't want to relive ANY Little Women (grand tour of Europe, balls, general 19th century life all sounds cool for awhile) but Beth's death? Yeah, I still cry when I read that. Who doesn't?
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Primary Program
Next year, the Primary program will be way more interesting, because Sabrina will be in it. However, I'm a teacher of the evil 5-year-olds (semi-evil), so it was pretty cute today too. We started and ended with the classic "Scripture Power" which is way, way exciting. The cutest, of course, are the Sunbeams. We have some twins that live near us, and they knew their lines perfectly, including "stripling warriors." That got a good laugh. The other good one was a "great big giant Goliath." That was a little ad libbed.
I sat next to a rather immature 4-year-old, who liked to clap, count, and bounce. Two kids kept asking me if it was time to go yet, and I had to keep telling the kids to sit down and stand up. But at least I had the words to the songs. On the plus side, the kids were really prepared, and most of them had their lines memorized. Better than the 10-year-olds, who acted like they'd never seen their lines before, some of them.
During this time, Zane had to take Sasha home, because he can't really get through church. It's his nap time, and let's face it, church was not designed for babies, despite the "spread the faith through reproduction" plan. But Sabrina wanted to stay. So she got to sit with Makenna and Avery while I was on the stand. She was fine, happy, and I never heard her. She was better behaved than when I'm with her! She's becoming so big and capable. I can't wait until next year when she gets to say something like "big giant Goliath."
I sat next to a rather immature 4-year-old, who liked to clap, count, and bounce. Two kids kept asking me if it was time to go yet, and I had to keep telling the kids to sit down and stand up. But at least I had the words to the songs. On the plus side, the kids were really prepared, and most of them had their lines memorized. Better than the 10-year-olds, who acted like they'd never seen their lines before, some of them.
During this time, Zane had to take Sasha home, because he can't really get through church. It's his nap time, and let's face it, church was not designed for babies, despite the "spread the faith through reproduction" plan. But Sabrina wanted to stay. So she got to sit with Makenna and Avery while I was on the stand. She was fine, happy, and I never heard her. She was better behaved than when I'm with her! She's becoming so big and capable. I can't wait until next year when she gets to say something like "big giant Goliath."
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